Give up your good 'Christian' life and follow Jesus

Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.

When it comes to finding available men in Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.

We live a pleasant life shopping at the Food Shoppe . . . taking the kids to the Weinery-Beanery, . . . and eating bran flakes . .. and then, with no warning, we wake up one morning stricken with middle age, full of loneliness, dumb, in pain. Our work is useless, our vocation is lost, and nobody cares about us at all. This is not bearable. In despair, we go do something spectacularly dumb, like run away with Amber the cocktail waitress, and suddenly all the women in our life look at us with unmitigated disgust.