I don't want them to be told to remember me.

That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.

Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

You learn this great lesson of life: it's not about me. It's just not. The matter of talent-which seemed so important to you when you were young-is not of great importance. We're simply a conduit. We take things out of the air into us and put them in the form of stories. That's pretty much it.

I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.