One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.

We'd all be alot happier if we'd stop assuming we're supposed to be happy.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.

Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.