Psychoanalysts seem to be long on information and short on application.

I will be brief. Not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech. He said I will be so brief I have already finished, and he sat down.

News is history shot on the wing.

Sometimes I think my writing sounds like I walked out of the room and left the typewriter running.

A man who makes a one-dollar profit on his expense account is dishonest. A man who loses five cents on one is a damned fool.

An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.

He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled.