I will be brief. Not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech. He said I will be so brief I have already finished, and he sat down.

Never thank anybody for anything, except a drink of water in the desert -and then make it brief.

Men are not against you, they are merely for themselves.

Perhaps no mightier conflict of mind occurs ever again in a lifetime than that first decision to unseat one's own tooth.

A man who makes a one-dollar profit on his expense account is dishonest. A man who loses five cents on one is a damned fool.

He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled.

Love and memory last and will so endure till the game is called because of darkness.