Get rid of the friends who want you to spend your whole day doing nothing with them. They're not your friends. They're your enemies.

A good marriage can be ruined by poor communications - and by forgetting to put the lid back down.

When you really think about it, I'm not delusional enough to think that what I do is important to life as we know it on this planet. No. But neither is what you do.

I voted for President Bush. I voted for President Clinton and although I do want my vote back, I voted for President Obama.

When you look at Clark Kent when he's working at the Daily Planet, he's a reporter. He doesn't fly through the air in his glasses and his suit.

I worship scones and danishes. If I never had another meal, I wouldn't care as long as I could eat pastries and jelly doughnuts.

I'll get rid of the drug problem. The first drug dealer will be publicly executed in front of everybody and all of the sudden the rest of the drug dealers are going to go "Uh oh!" Watch how fast the drug problem disappears. If you use drugs, you're addicted and you steal something, you'll get sent off to the outback and to work camps and all of the sudden no drug addicts. See how simple that is? So simple.