Your date will not be impressed by you throwing up on her brand-new shoes, as you spout poetic babblings that are meaningful only to you.

The only jobs kids have are to do well in school, to be charming and polite, and be thankful. That's it. I'll house you, protect you, I'll even give my life for you, and in return, you will behave.

People are only what we believe them to be.

Don't believe bands who say it's all about the fans and they want to give their music away for free. The result is they will continue to live in their mother's basement.

I refuse to stand up in front of a rabbi and my friends and the woman I love - who I will tell you I can love with all my heart - and promise she will be the only one I will ever have until the day I die. Thats a lie.

Why is it that most of the folks I know think "personal growth" is caused entirely by those second and third helpings of biscuits and gravy?

I think I know it all, relatively speaking.