Oh, come! That boot is on the other leg. Why should you call me to account for eating decently? If I battened on the scorched corpses of animals, you might well ask me why I did that

I would exchange every painting of Christ for one snapshot.

I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treats me as a flower girl, and always will; but I know I can be a lady to you, because you always treat me as a lady, and always will.

Crime is only the retail department of what, in wholesale, we call penal law.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.