We call the one side [of humanity] religion, and we call the other science. Religion is always right. ... Science is always wrong; it is the very artifice of men. Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems.

What I say today everybody will say tomorrow, though they will not remember who put it into their heads. Indeed they will be right for I never remember who puts things into my head : it is the Zeitgeist.

Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

I would exchange every painting of Christ for one snapshot.

A great social reformer.

Whisky is liquid sunshine.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.