Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages. He who can, does. He who cannot teaches.

The goal of an artist is to create the definitive work that cannot be surpassed.

The sound body is the product of the sound mind.

It is not pleasure that makes life worth living. It is life that makes pleasure worth having.

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

When a man of normal habits is ill, everyone hastens to assure him that he is going to recover. When a vegetarian is ill (which fortunately very seldom happens), everyone assures him that he is going to die, and that they told him so, and that it serves him right. They implore him to take at least a little gravy, so as to give himself a chance of lasting out the night

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.