Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

Well, upon my soul! You are not ashamed to stand there and confess yourself a disgusting drunkard.

Justice is impartiality. Only strangers are impartial.

Just as the historian can teach no real history until he has cured his readers of the romantic delusion that the greatness of a queen consists in her being a pretty woman and having her head cut off, so the playwright of the first order can do nothing with his audience until he has cured them of looking at the stage through the keyhole, and sniffing round the theatre as prurient people sniff round the divorce court.

The chief objection to playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

Changeable women are more endurable that monotonous ones; they are sometimes murdered but never deserted.