I was convinced that Ceylon is the cradle of the human race because everybody there looks an original. All other nations are obviously mass produced.

If there was twenty ways of telling the truth and only one way of telling a lie, the Government would find it out. It's in the nature of governments to tell lies.

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

How can what an Englishman believes be hearsay? It is a contradiction in terms.

Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich-something for nothing.

You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?

I also made it quite clear that Socialism means equality of income or nothing, and that under socialism you would not be allowed to be poor. You would be forcibly feed, clothed, lodged, taught, and employed whether you like it or not. If it were discovered that you had not character enough to be worth all this trouble, you might possibly be executed in a kindly manner; but whilst you were permitted to live you would have to live well.