Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

Shall I turn up the light for you? No, give me deeper darkness. Money is not made in the light.

When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.

It seems as though every time you learn something new you have to give up something.

A healthy nation is as unconscious of its nationality as a healthy man of his bones. But if you break a person's nationality it will think of nothing else but getting it set again.

I fought linotype and montype for some time because it would not justify as well as handset could be made to do; but at last, as always happens, the machine outdid the hand, and got all the best types on it.

It is nearly 50 years since I was assured by a conclave of doctors that if I did not eat meat I should die of starvation.