Assasination on the scaffold is the worst form of assasination, because there it is invested with the approval of society.

The fact is that the intrinsic worth of the book, play or whatever the author is trying to sell is the least, last factor in the the whole transaction.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

That is the whole secret of successful fighting. Get your enemy at a disadvantage; and never, on any account, fight him on equal terms.

I fought linotype and montype for some time because it would not justify as well as handset could be made to do; but at last, as always happens, the machine outdid the hand, and got all the best types on it.

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking, and getting well hammered yourself.

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.