There is nothing on earth more exquisite than a bonny book, with well-placed columns of rich black writing in beautiful borders, and illuminated pictures cunningly inset. But nowadays, instead of looking at books, people read them. A book might as well be one of those orders for bacon and bran.

This planet is obviously being used as an insane asylum by other planets.

If more than 10% of the people like a painting, you can be sure it's bad.

Paradoxes are the only truths.

Social progress takes effect through the replacement of all institutions by new ones; and since every institution involves the recognition of the duty of conforming to it, progress must involve the repudiation of an established duty at every step.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.