The confusing of marriage with morality has done more to destroy the conscience of the human race than any other single error.

The worst cliques are those which consist of one man.

It is not the number of years we have behind us, but the number we have before us, that makes us careful and responsible and determined to find out the truth about everything.

Telling the truth is the funniest joke in the world.

If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example.

Newspaper : A device unable to distinguish between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation.

Though I can make my extravaganzas appear credible, I cannot make the truth appear so.