If all the statisticians in the world were laid head to toe, they wouldn't be able to reach a conclusion

You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.

The longer I live, the more convinced am I that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

The truth is the one thing that nobody will believe.

Crime is only the retail department of what, in wholesale, we call penal law.