When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

To a mathematician the eleventh means only a single unit: to the bushman who cannot count further than his ten fingers it is an incalculable myriad.

Think what cowards men would be if they had to bear children. Women are altogether a superior species.

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

The policy of letting things alone, in the practical sense that the Government should never interfere with business or go into business itself, is called Laisser-faire by economists and politicians. It has broken down so completely in practice that it is now discredited; but it was all the fashion in politics a hundred years ago, and is still influentially advocated by men of business and their backers who naturally would like to be allowed to make money as they please without regard to the interest of the public.

I myself have been particularly careful never to say a civil word to the United States. I have scoffed at their inhabitants as a nation of villagers. I have defined the 100 % American as 99 % an idiot. And they adore me.

The whole strength of England lies in the fact that the enormous majority of the English people are snobs.