The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

Like fingerprints, all marriages are different.

Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful.

They tell me that So-and-So, who does not write prefaces, is no charlatan. Well, I am. I first caught the ear of the British public on a cart in Hyde Park, to the blaring of brass bands,and this . . . because . . . I am a natural-born mountebank.

Never waste jealousy on a real man: it is the imaginary man that supplants us all in the long run.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle.

Those who can’t change their minds can’t change anything.