The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

In your Salvation shelter I saw poverty, misery, cold and hunger. You gave them bread and treacle and dreams of heaven. I give from thirty shillings a week to twelve thousand a year. They find their own dreams; but I look after the drainage.

They tell me that So-and-So, who does not write prefaces, is no charlatan. Well, I am. I first caught the ear of the British public on a cart in Hyde Park, to the blaring of brass bands,and this . . . because . . . I am a natural-born mountebank.

I like flowers, I also like children, but I do not chop their heads off and keep them in bowls of water around the house.

Seemingly unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. Much progress, therefore, depends on such people.

Capitalism justified itself and was adopted as an economic principle on the express ground that it provides selfish motives for doing good, and that human beings will do nothing except for selfish motives

In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.