Those who do not know how to live must make a merit of dying.

I was taught when I was young that if people would only love one another, all would be well with the world. I found when I tried to put that into practice, not only were other people seldom lovable but I wasn't very lovable myself.

As long as you don't fly openly in the face of society, society doesn't ask any inconvenient questions; and it makes precious short work of the cads who do. There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.

Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should think, for people that like that sort of place.

The Jews generally give value. They make you pay; but they deliver the goods. In my experience the men who want something for nothing are invariably Christians.

Audacious ribald: your laughter will finish in hideous boredom before morning.

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.