When people shake their heads because we are living in a restless age, ask them how they would like to life in a stationary one, and do without change

A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.

The way to deal with worldly people is to frighten them by repeating their scandalous whisperings aloud.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle.

The most intolerable pain is produced by prolonging the keenest pleasure.

The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

He said that private practice in medicine ought to be put down by law. When I asked him why, he said that private doctors were ignorant licensed murders.