General consultant to mankind.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle.

When God created man and woman, he did not take a patent. That's why any imbecile has been able to do so ever since.

I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler; I don't like beer.

Financiers live in a world of illusion. They count on something which they call the capital of the country, which has no existence.

Nothing makes a man so selfish as work.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.