My friend, when a man has anything to tell in this world, the difficulty is not to make him tell it, but to prevent him from telling it too often.

Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.

Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should think, for people that like that sort of place.

Most people do not pray; they only beg.

Man is the only animal which esteems itself rich in proportion to the number and voracity of its parasites.

The best reformers the world has ever seen are those who commence on themselves.

Taking all the round of professions and occupations, you will find that every man is the worse for being poor; and the doctor is a specially dangerous man when poor.