I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.

The sex illusion is not a fixed quantity: not what mathematicians call a constant. It varies from zero in my wife's case to madness in that of our stepsister.

Science becomes dangerous only when it imagines that it has reached its goal.

What I say today everybody will say tomorrow, though they will not remember who put it into their heads. Indeed they will be right for I never remember who puts things into my head : it is the Zeitgeist.

Whenever I see the word Operation, especially Trifling Operation, I at once write off the patient as dead.

Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

My way of joking is to tell the truth