In a hospital they throw you out into the street before you are half cured, but in a nursing home they don't let you out till you are dead.

If pity is akin to love, gratitude is akin to the other thing.

The only person who acts sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. Everyone else goes by their old measurements.

Most married couples spend the whole day apart, the woman in the house, the man in the office or study or workshop.

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.

Nothing is more dangerous than a poor doctor: not even a poor employer or a poor landlord.

Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job.