A man learns to skate by staggering about and making a fool of himself. Indeed he progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself.

I like flowers, I also like children, but I do not chop their heads off and keep them in bowls of water around the house.

Hell is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.

If any religion had a chance of ruling over England, nay Europe within the next hundred years, it could be Islam.

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.

When you find something funny search it for hidden truth.

A man has no business to marry a woman who can't make him miserable. It means she can't make him happy.