A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

We are the masters at the moment, and not only at the moment, but for a very long time to come.

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

The notion that inspiration is something that happened thousands of years ago, and was then finished and done with. . . the theory that God retired from business at that period and has not been heard from since, is as silly as it is blasphemous.

A book is like a child: it is easier to bring it into the world than to control it when it is launched there.