English is the easiest language to speak badly.

Optimistic lies have such immense therapeutic value that a doctor who cannot tell them convincingly has mistaken his profession.

Hell is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.

You have nothing to do but mention the quantum theory, and people will take your voice for the voice of science, and belive anything.

Make me a beautiful word for doing things tomorrow; for that surely is a great and blessed invention.

What a man is depends on his character; but what he does, and what we think of what he does, depends on his circumstances.

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.