It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.

Newspaper : A device unable to distinguish between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Englishmen hate Liberty and Equality too much to understand them. But every Englishman loves a pedigree.

What I say today everybody will say tomorrow, though they will not remember who put it into their heads. Indeed they will be right for I never remember who puts things into my head : it is the Zeitgeist.

Instead of Otello being an Italian opera written in the style of Shakespeare, Othello is a play written by Shakespeare in the style of Italian opera.

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.