It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.

A serious illness or a death advertises the doctor exactly as a hanging advertises the barrister who defended the person hanged.

I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.

I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going.

Stop being Jews and start being human beings.

I was a cannibal for twenty-five years. For the rest I have been a vegetarian.

No Englishman is ever fairly beaten