They tell me that So-and-So, who does not write prefaces, is no charlatan. Well, I am. I first caught the ear of the British public on a cart in Hyde Park, to the blaring of brass bands,and this . . . because . . . I am a natural-born mountebank.

The only person who acts sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. Everyone else goes by their old measurements.

If you say that God is good, great, blessed, wise or any such thing, the starting point is this : God is.

The theory that music has a depraving effect on morals has now been abandoned to the old women of both sexes.

A great social reformer.

What is the matter with universities is that the students are school children, whereas it is of the very essence of university education that they should be adults.

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.