An English army led by an Irish general: that might be a match for a French army led by an Italian general.

Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.

No man manages his affairs as well as a tree does

I never thought much of the courage of a lion tamer. Inside the cage he is at least safe from people.

The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Schools and schoolmasters, as we have them today, are not popular as places of education and teachers, but rather prisons and turnkeys in which children are kept to prevent them disturbing and chaperoning their parent.