Freedom, my good girl, means being able to count on how other people will behave.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion.

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.

The joy in life is to be used for a purpose. I want to be used up when I die.

Geniuses are horrid, intolerant, easily offended, sleeplessly self-conscious men, who expect their wives to be angels with no further business in life than to pet and worship their husbands. Even at the best they are not comfortable men to live with; and a perfect husband is one who is perfectly comfortable to live with.

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

You practically do not use semicolons at all. This is a symptom of mental defectiveness, probably induced by camp life.