Every person who has mastered a profession is a skeptic concerning it.

Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.

Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one. Telegram inviting Winston Churchill to opening night of Pygmalion. Churchill wired back: Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend the second - if there is one.

Make it compulsory for a doctor using a brass plate to have inscribed on it, in addition to the letters indicating his qualifications, the words 'Remember that I too am mortal'.

Words are only postage stamps delivering the object for you to unwrap

Few of us have vitality enough to make any of our instincts imperious.

If women were as fastidious as men, morally or physically, there would be an end of the race.