I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worth while.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

You are all alike, you respectable people. You can't tell me the bursting strain of a ten-inch gun, which is a very simple matter;but you all think you can tell me the bursting strain of a man under temptation. You daren't handle high explosives; but you're all ready to handle honesty and truth and justice and the whole duty of man, and kill one another at that game. What a country! What a world!

Just as the historian can teach no real history until he has cured his readers of the romantic delusion that the greatness of a queen consists in her being a pretty woman and having her head cut off, so the playwright of the first order can do nothing with his audience until he has cured them of looking at the stage through the keyhole, and sniffing round the theatre as prurient people sniff round the divorce court.

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.

It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can.