As an old soldier, I admit the cowardice: it's as universal as seasickness, and matters just as little.

The best way to get your point across is to entertain.

My friend, when a man has anything to tell in this world, the difficulty is not to make him tell it, but to prevent him from telling it too often.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

We educate one another; and we cannot do this if half of us consider the other half not good enough to talk to.

The popular definition of tragedy is heavy drama in which everyone is killed in the last act, comedy being light drama in which everyone is married in the last act.

The seven deadly sins... food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven millstones from Man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the millstones are lifted.