All this struggling and striving to make the world better is a great mistake. Not that it's wrong to try to improve the world if you know how but simply because struggling and striving are the worst possible ways to go about doing anything!

Idiots are always in favour of inequality of income (their only chance of eminence), and the really great in favour of equality.

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.

The truth sticks in our throats with all the sauces it is served with: it will never go down until we take it without any sauce at all.

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.

A man learns to skate by staggering about and making a fool of himself. Indeed he progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself.