A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.

The novelties of one generation are only the resuscitated fashions of the generation before last.

Poverty doesn't bring unhappiness; it brings degradation.

Heaven, as conventionally conceived, is a place so inane, so dull, so useless, so miserable that nobody has ever ventured to describe a whole day in heaven, though plenty of people have described a day at the seaside.

Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles.