Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.

If you cannot attain knowledge without torturing a dog, you must do without knowledge.

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart's desire; the other is to get it.

For the pre-Darwinian age had come to be regarded as a Dark Age in which men still believed that the book of Genesis was a standard scientific treatise, and that the only additions to it were Galileo'a demonstration of Leonardo da Vinci's simple remark that the earth is a moon of the sun, Sir Humphrey Davy's invention of the safety lamp, the discovery of electricity, the application of steam to industrial purposes, and the penny post.

When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "The one I feed the most."

All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half-used minds.