I was always unlawful; I broke the law when I was born because my parents weren't married.

Life levels all men. Death reveals the eminent.

During the last considerable epidemic at the turn of the century, I was a member of the Health Committee of London Borough Council, and I learned how the credit of vaccination is kept up statistically by diagnosing all the revaccinated cases (of smallpox) as pustular eczema, varioloid or what not---except smallpox.

You accepted Allah or you had your throat cut by someone who did accept him, and who went to Paradise for having sent you to Hell.

Although I cannot lay an egg, I am a very good judge of omelettes

Everybody who does not live in a prostitute's bed and on a diet of cocaine snow is called an ascetic nowadays.

A married man forms married habits and becomes dependent on marriage just as a sailor becomes dependent on the sea.