Gentle Jesus, meek and mild' is a snivelling modern invention, with no warrant in the gospels.

Only fools repeat the same things over and over, expecting to obtain different results.

There is at bottom only one genuinely scientific treatment for all diseases, and that is to stimulate the phagocytes.

What the world calls originality is only an unaccustomed method of tickling it.

Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.

Marriage is to me apostasy, profanation of the sanctuary of my soul, violation of my manhood, sale of my birthright, shameful surrender, ignominious capitulation, acceptance of defeat.

Great art is never produced for its own sake. It is too difficult to be worth the effort.