A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

Well, upon my soul! You are not ashamed to stand there and confess yourself a disgusting drunkard.

[...] any fool can make a discovery. Every baby has to discover more in the first years of its life than Roger Bacon ever discovered in his laboratory.

The test of good education is seeing how it behaves in a fight.

It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.

A man who has no office to go, to I don't care who he is, is a trial of which you can have no conception.

Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should think, for people that like that sort of place. They teach you to be a gentleman there. In the polytechnic they teach you to be an engineer or such like. See?