When you want to put something into your part that is not in the play, you must ask the author-or some other author-to lead up to the interpolation for you. Never forget that the effect of a line may depend not on its delivery, but on something said earlier in the play, either by somebody else or by yourself, and that if you change it, it may be necessary to change the whole first act as well.

There is only one universal passion fear.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

The most intolerable pain is produced by prolonging the keenest pleasure.

The sex illusion is not a fixed quantity: not what mathematicians call a constant. It varies from zero in my wife's case to madness in that of our stepsister.

Marry Ann; and at the end of a week you'll find no more inspiration in her than in a plate of muffins.

Religion is a great force - the only real motive force in the world; but what you fellows don't understand is that you must get at a man through his own religion and not through yours.