If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.

All progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Changeable women are more endurable that monotonous ones; they are sometimes murdered but never deserted.

Dogmatic toleration is nonsense: I would no more tolerate the teaching of Calvinism to children if I had power to persecute it than the British Raj tolerated suttee in India. Every civilized authority must draw a line between the tolerable and the intolerable.

Has fear ever held a man back from anything he really wanted?