My situation is a solemn one: life is offered to me on the condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed, not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarves in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures. It will be, without the exception of Noah's Ark, the most remarkable thing of its kind ever seen.

Greatness is one of the sensations of littleness

The devil can quote Shakespeare for his own purpose.

Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.

The quality of a play is the quality of its ideas.

Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes.

Happiness and beauty are by-products. Folly is the direct pursuit of happiness and beauty.