For nearly twenty years I have been a published author... But I have never yet seen a book of mine offered for sale in a shop window.

A third variety of drama ... begins as tragedy with scraps of fun in it ... and ends in comedy without mirth in it, the place of mirth being taken by a more or less bitter and critical irony.

When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.

Democracy means the organization of society for the benefit and at the expense of everybody indiscriminately and not for the benefit of a privileged class.

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.

What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.

Every fool believes what his teachers tell him, and calls his credulity science or morality as confidently as his father called it divine revelation.