The schoolmaster is the person who takes the children off the parents' hands for a consideration. That is to say, he establishes a child prison, engages a number of employee schoolmasters as turnkeys, and covers up the essential cruelty and unnaturalness of the situation by torturing the children if they do not learn, and calling this process, which is within the capacity of any fool or blackguard, by the sacred name of Teaching.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

With the exception of capitalism, there is nothing so revolting as revolution.

I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.

Get out of my way; for I won't stop for you.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.