Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.

Who are those we love? Only those we do not hate.

What is wrong with priests and popes is that instead of being apostles and saints, they are nothing but empirics who say I know instead of I am learning, and pray for credulity and inertia as wise men pray for skepticism and activity.

Changeable women are more endurable that monotonous ones; they are sometimes murdered but never deserted.

I learned more from the first stupid woman who fell in love with me than ever my brains taught me.