Ladies and gentlemen, my mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you!

I don't care what they call me as long as they mention my name.

I don't care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.

Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.

As a composer I could never find use for over 4 or 5 notes in any musical number, and as a playwright most of my plays have two acts because i couldn't think of an idea for the third act.

Whatever you do kid, always serve it with a little dressing.

Ev'ry heart beats true 'neath the Red, White and Blue