Every joke can't be dazzling. And if you think you spotted an inconsistency, you did!

When people have no interest in a subject, it's very hard to get them to laugh about it.

I have nothing but respect for the purist who won't work for the pharaoh. But I'm not that strong.

I resisted parenthood for a long, long time. But having a daughter has given me a sense of hopefulness that I didn't have before.

Experience as much as you can and absorb a lot of reality. Otherwise, your writing will have the force of a Wiffle ball.

The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: 'They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?' It's a horrifying idea juxtaposed with something really banal-and yet there's a kind of logic to it. It's illuminating because it's kind of how Americans see things: Life's a big jumble, but somehow it leads to something I can consume. I love that.

I tend to look at the world more from Voltaire's perspective. Incidentally, if you haven't read Candide lately, it's a fabulous book. It's riotously, laugh-out-loud funny in a way that no Shakespeare comedy will ever be.