If there's reason for hope, it lies in man's occasional binges of cooperation. To save our planet, we'll need that kind of heroic effort, in which all types of people join forces for the common good

Advertising is a conscienceless industry, populated by cowards and idiots, that warps and drains everyone. It eggs on the worst in all of us. If I could eliminate either advertising or nuclear weapons, I would choose advertising.

I have nothing but respect for the purist who won't work for the pharaoh. But I'm not that strong.

I'm not religious. I do have a baby - a four-month old girl - and that's a religion in itself.

I'm a pessimist, but I have many painstakingly applied coats of optimism.

The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: 'They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?' It's a horrifying idea juxtaposed with something really banal-and yet there's a kind of logic to it. It's illuminating because it's kind of how Americans see things: Life's a big jumble, but somehow it leads to something I can consume. I love that.

I don't like the antagonism that most religions have for science, and freedom and, frankly, individuality. I do like the Dalai Lama.